So I have the option here to either discuss in detail how two completely talentless teenagers with absolutely shocking hair styles (see previous blog for my personal appreciation of metro-sexualness) represent how the public view and subsequently promote said talentlessness or I could talk about two annoying human shaped tits. Obviously I will chose the most appropriate as I like to think myself as Dugma (‘setting a good example’ - for all you non-hebrew speaking readers out there).
In my personal opinion, Jedward represent so much less than human shaped tits. I find ‘tits’, ‘breasts’ or ‘juggly-wugglies’ as my grandpa used to say quite attractive in all their shape, size and glory. If anything, Jedward represent the antithesis of everything juggly-wuggly related. Everything. What or who is putting these two talentless boys in the public line of sight? I have met nobody that enjoys watching them, nobody who would buy their music or watch it voluntarily, and lastly, find me one person who would call them a celebrity! But this is where the celebrity is headed. Jade Goody? Well we just enjoyed laughing at her stupidity - Paris Hilton? She made a whole series based on her being the most ridiculous human being, up until Jedward managed to get through to the finals of X-Factor last year. You can come round my house and I’ll show you the dent mark in the wall next to the TV where I threw the remote in anger and frustration. Surely we appreciate talent when we see it? Has the world run out of talented people?
*pause*
I was watching the tv though on that remote-throwing Saturday night, and I tuned into X-Factor the following week just to watch what sort of moronic antics Jedward would get up to. Maybe they are more like tits than I previously thought. After all, you like watching them, but as soon as you get what you asked for - you don’t know what to do with them. We, the people of Britain, voted and wanted these two tits to succeed - we shouldn’t be angry at them for our own mistakes. But just look at that ridiculous hair...
Monday, 6 September 2010
JD & Coke in a Plastic cup
Lets just be quite frank about something here. I’m all for equality and women’s rights but there does exist in certain dark corners of society a heavy degree of difference between men and women, namely concerning alcoholic beverages.
Only a few days ago I was fortunate enough to play at a folk festival with some great musicians, however after the gig we had a cheeky drink or two. There it gleamed. The most well known square bottomed liquor I can currently think of - how more manly can you get! Square based! Brilliant. Much more secure than the regular circular base - not only will it be harder to knock over, BUT god forbid such an atrocity would occur - its not going to roll away from you very quickly. It wants to be near. It wants to be drunk. What more could you ask for from a drink.
Now you might be asking me, well Jason, what does that have to do with womens rights? If I’m being honest, not all that much. However have you considered the following.
Call me old fashioned, but when I see a nice looking lady (or not so nice for that matter) sipping rather gingerly from a pint of bitter, or a rough looking girl-chav gulping down a pint of larger I can’t help but cringe a little bit. There is something that doesn’t feel quite right about it. The same however can be said about numerous drinks working the other way. Your at a bar and hear a lonesome man ordering a Pina Colada or Tomato Juice. Rather than cringing, if your anything like me you just inconspicuously shake your head, pick up your pint, take a rather unnecessarily large gulp followed by an *ahhh* which can be heard from from the Moon (perhaps the other pub across the road).
JD on the other hand is like the modern man. Metro-sexual and highly adaptable to any social situation. You can drink it straight, you can drink it with a filler or like my 12-string guitar-hero bandmate, you can drink half straight out of the bottle then fill the rest up with coke and pour the contents of that cheeky mix into a plastic cup. But possibly the best quality JD has is that you don’t judge anybody drinking it. Like I said. Metro-sexual - battling the war against ‘in-a-bevi-olity’ (= the inequality of drinks between men and women). Good on you JD. Good on you.
Only a few days ago I was fortunate enough to play at a folk festival with some great musicians, however after the gig we had a cheeky drink or two. There it gleamed. The most well known square bottomed liquor I can currently think of - how more manly can you get! Square based! Brilliant. Much more secure than the regular circular base - not only will it be harder to knock over, BUT god forbid such an atrocity would occur - its not going to roll away from you very quickly. It wants to be near. It wants to be drunk. What more could you ask for from a drink.
Now you might be asking me, well Jason, what does that have to do with womens rights? If I’m being honest, not all that much. However have you considered the following.
Call me old fashioned, but when I see a nice looking lady (or not so nice for that matter) sipping rather gingerly from a pint of bitter, or a rough looking girl-chav gulping down a pint of larger I can’t help but cringe a little bit. There is something that doesn’t feel quite right about it. The same however can be said about numerous drinks working the other way. Your at a bar and hear a lonesome man ordering a Pina Colada or Tomato Juice. Rather than cringing, if your anything like me you just inconspicuously shake your head, pick up your pint, take a rather unnecessarily large gulp followed by an *ahhh* which can be heard from from the Moon (perhaps the other pub across the road).
JD on the other hand is like the modern man. Metro-sexual and highly adaptable to any social situation. You can drink it straight, you can drink it with a filler or like my 12-string guitar-hero bandmate, you can drink half straight out of the bottle then fill the rest up with coke and pour the contents of that cheeky mix into a plastic cup. But possibly the best quality JD has is that you don’t judge anybody drinking it. Like I said. Metro-sexual - battling the war against ‘in-a-bevi-olity’ (= the inequality of drinks between men and women). Good on you JD. Good on you.
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